KitchenPalz and the 24 hours of customer retention (#R3)
Here’s a lazy start in 2018: This isn’t from a Wan Hung Lo item, but aside from spelling, I could totally imagine this as one of those teeny tiny “rate us 5 stars!” notes that were quite common a few years ago.
Have a look:
First thing (which I realized last): Thanks for buying a Stainless Steel Colander Set? Well, technically, it is stainless steel bowls with plastic lids and a silicone (non-slip) coating around the bottom. If that was intended to be a set of sieves, well, good job QA, good job. Do I need to send them back, or can I just drill holes as I like?
Next: I bought this on Amazon in Germany, not because I like Amazon that much, but because such bowls were one of the very last items that I had on my shopping list (which were not available elsewhere) and spending five bucks here and ten bucks there doesn’t really make sense in terms of shipping cost. Amazon is a really good place to get totally random collections of stuff at a reasonable price, and those bowls are indeed very good value for the money. So it is nice that their family-owned business does sell worldwide, but there are in fact Germans that do not speak English. Some of them don’t even speak German properly The Chinese use the Chinglish Translate service of a known web company to make their recommendations readable, so why don’t you?
Speaking of customer friendliness: Both URLs are case sensitive. Well, not the domain itself, but VIPClub and VIPDiscount are. Yeah, that’s how Linux machines and their file systems work, but…why not add a couple of redirects if you can’t (or won’t, for some reason) turn off case sensitivity on the web server? It’s not that hard?
And now for the obvious one: Are you fucking kidding me?
You’re clearly not selling these items directly (to me) and Amazon is not not shipping from your warehouse either. So there’s no way this piece of paper without any personalized URLs or codes is tied to ANY purchase or parcel receipt date. Yeah, I got 24 hours running from the minute I picked up this note from the box…24 hours my ass! Look at the paper, it still says 24 hours, two months after receipt That’s SO cheesy, I wonder if any Wan Hung Lo seller has ever pulled this off. Should we tell them?
I just decided to give this one a go, here’s what came back after filling in name and mail address:
Thanks for your interest in buying more of our products!
We truly appreciate you as a customer.
We LOVE our customers!
As a special thank you for trying out our product here’s your
30% AMAZON COUPON: 25XR-JHY3KV-[go figure out the rest – or use your own code. I’d laugh my ass off if that is the same code for everybody]
Just search Amazon for “KitchenPalz”, add item to cart and then
use this coupon code during checkout.
It’s that simple.
If you are not yet a member of our VIP Club, I hereby invite you
to join. It is FREE to join but you get lots of amazing benefits.
About once a week (give or take) we send our VIP club members
valuable coupons, samples, events, insider news, or contests to
win free stuff.
Finally, let me stress that should you need anything, please just
reply to this email and we will take good care of you!
No questions asked, it’s been 24 hours
Well, whatever, if they think this bullshit is worth their time and money – fine by me. I’d rather let the Chinese do such stuff, but I’m not running that business, so who am I to judge…
That’s it for now – let’s make 2018
great again, ehm, the coolest monkey in the jungle, eh…a year full of cheap surprises. There’s a significant backlog of items, but new stuff for more urgent projects is coming in every week. Shipping rates have actually gone up, so it’s not a bad thing that there’s a lot of stuff still in transit. See you next time!